UNSUNG HEROES

When my parents died we avoided the tradition of delivering a eulogy at the funerals, largely at their request. It simply isn’t part of our family culture to stand up and sing the praises of either the living or the dead. To be honest none of us ever seek attention and despite the fact I’ve spent more than 30 years working in education, many of them in front of class groups, I too was reluctant to expose my emotions on the day.

Sadly The Ban Cheile’s* father died recently and it was the binary opposite of my parent’s send off. The comparison made me think about the purpose of eulogising a loved one when they die. Ironically one of the things that I’ve been critical about the catholic priest when he celebrates the funeral mass was the effort he inevitably makes to talk about the deceased, even when he clearly doesn’t really know them and simply gleaned a few details from the grieving family (usually made obvious when he calls the person by a full name not commonly used by people in their social circle – Bill becomes William!). However, I realise now that it is, in fact, a matter of respecting the person that died by making sure everyone present hears, maybe for the last time, of their life and legacy.