In my mind there are Beach People and for the record I’m not one of them. Beach People thrive on finding a spot amongst hordes of other sun, sea and sand worshippers and laying out between swims like seals basking in the sunshine. They have mastered the knack of dressing and undressing under a multicoloured towel slightly larger than a facecloth, while standing on one leg and watching the world around them, meerkat style. The very word ‘holiday’ can be found in their personal dictionary under ‘seaside’ and they eat food surrounded by sand and without complaint for God’s sake! The only thing I like about being on the coast is the freshness of the sea air and you can get that in a harbour town, so I’m afraid a trip to the seaside is never…